Depression. Could be a great day and you just can't force yourself out of bed. This is the comatose state. The "I can't handle life" state. When people with Depression get too scared to stand up because they feel like if they even walk out their door... life will decide to spit on them and beat them to a pulp. So it's just safer to stay in bed where its warm and they don't have to think about life, racism, luck, work or anything.

I don't think this one needs much on it besides this is how it can feel to have anxiety disorders.

With depression you sometimes just feel so trapped and down it's as if an invisible entity (maybe you believe it's God) has it out for you and is trying to slowly kill you.

The photos here on out are about my journey to self recovery. My motivation wall. Depression causes you to think negative things about yourself you wouldn't think if you didn't have it. I try to keep a wall of motivation so if I need it I can look up at it and get myself out of my own head.

Comics were a form of escape from reality to me. It was the only way I could find some sort of safe haven from the hellish prison that was my life. I grew attached to the show Teen Titans because it aired from when I was in a child in Pennsylvania and into when I moved to New York as a teen. It was the only familiarity to me at the time and the whenever I had a nightmare it always turned into a dream about the Teen Titans taking me on an adventure.

This shows my obsession with Dick Grayson... I don't think its as unhealthy as some others may think it was. It was the only thing at the time that kept me sane and brought so much light into my life. Both my home and school life was filled with abuse so cartoons and comics became my only escape.

Even on my bad days, it felt so relaxing to just go to a cafe and sit there by myself for a few hours. Enjoying my coffee alone while drawing is the closest form of meditation to me.

When I moved to a small town in New York I encountered a surprising amount of racist people. There was a large amount of time where I hated my skin because of how people treated me because of the color. It made me so frustrated to feel like people treated me like an object over something so trivial that I couldn't change.

In this photo I wanted to show how going to Puerto Rico and accepting my skin/heritage has brought acceptance and happiness to my life.

I wanted to show how going to Puerto Rico and accepting my skin/heritage has brought acceptance and happiness to my life. 

I mean, I did say this is my road to happiness. It wouldn't be that without Josh. He is literally the most supportive person in my life. I have no idea how I would've made it to where I am without him let alone how I even forced myself through life without him. 

2 of these photos were taken on a phone and not by me. I wanted to end on what makes me have hope for the future and fills me with happiness. My new family. My handsome boyfriend Josh and our babies Ace and Trouble.

This project was a lot of fun and I have ideas I still want to do including ideas that just didn't work when I tried the first time around with them. So there may be more in the future. 

Panoramic of shot my college dorm.

Slow shutter speed shot.

Greyscale Panoramic

Panning shot.

Pannning Shot

My Beagle Trouble. She's such a great model.

This was the first artistic photo I took and I was pretty proud of it. I took this at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden.